BRTHR Films’ “Sinking Stone” premieres this week on DAZED Digital //
Cc: @alexleebrthr @k_00x @atltwins

BRTHR Films’ “Sinking Stone” premieres this week on DAZED Digital //
Cc: @alexleebrthr @k_00x @atltwins

Sneak peek at my piece, “The 108,” in Black & Grey Magazine. On news stands now!  // Photo by @BilBrown, styled by @LisaBae, and directed by @MynxiiWhite for @BlackGreyMag. // #TheSATORIissue  (at Los Angeles Downtown)

Sneak peek at my piece, “The 108,” in Black & Grey Magazine. On news stands now! // Photo by @BilBrown, styled by @LisaBae, and directed by @MynxiiWhite for @BlackGreyMag. // #TheSATORIissue (at Los Angeles Downtown)

"On Turning 21," my latest essay (about alcoholism and underage drinking), is coming to @WeTheUrban Magazine on my 21st birthday, August 2nd! 
Photo by @cameronmccool

"On Turning 21," my latest essay (about alcoholism and underage drinking), is coming to @WeTheUrban Magazine on my 21st birthday, August 2nd!
Photo by @cameronmccool

I SHOULD HAVE SAID “NO,” BUT I ALSO SHOULD HAVE DONE A LOT OF THINGS. #tbt #teendream

I SHOULD HAVE SAID “NO,” BUT I ALSO SHOULD HAVE DONE A LOT OF THINGS. #tbt #teendream

07.15.14

I remember in rehab they used to say that every day is a new day, that every day you start over fresh. 

It hasn’t felt that way lately, though. I wake up everyday at noon and nobody has forgiven me. I stack hospital bracelets on my frail wrists like fine jewelry. I skip showering for the sake of lost time. I take a quick Chanel spritz bath and stumble into the afternoon sunlight.

Outside, the world is just as unforgiving. Everyone I love is either worried about me, embarrassed of me, or angry with me. 

I’m not alone though. I have my phone, tens of thousands of followers and readers, and Maria at the local gas station who doesn’t card me when I buy beer.

Gaining followers and losing friends.

In 2014 I’ve been dumped by girlfriends, friends, and family members. Nobody can keep up. Most nights, I’m sitting at a rooftop bar at bar close, coming to, and realizing that I am all alone with no ride home. 

Everyone has left me for booty calls and beauty sleep. Nobody can keep up. 

I stumble into taxis, trains, and black cars. I cry about lost credit cards.

I want nothing more than a loving embrace, but that has been gone for a while now. I’m getting hate-fucked. Not literally, really. Just in general. 

I am a pretty face and some funny words, building a career that fosters all but loving relationships.

Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and try again.

I USED TO HATE AIRPLANES/AIRPORTS, BUT THEN XANAX ✈️💊 (at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX))

I USED TO HATE AIRPLANES/AIRPORTS, BUT THEN XANAX ✈️💊 (at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX))